1. Women's faults are many,
Men have only two:
Everything they say
And everything they do.
2. «Doctor, I often feel like killing myself. What shall I do?»
«Leave it to me.»
3. Once upon a time a lion ate a bull. He felt so good that he roared and roared.
A hunter heard him and killed him with one shot.
Moral: When full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
full of bull (sl) = глупый человек
4. The girl who waits for a smart cookie usually ends up with a crumb.
a smart cookie = usually a man who is selfconfident and clever
a crumb = a dirty, insignificant person
5. «Are you fond of nuts?» «Is this a proposal?»
nuts = психи, чокнутые
a proposal = предложение (о браке)